Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well, it happened, March 1st rolled around this year and lo and behold I TURNED 50!! 

 

Yes, you read correctly, I turned the BIG 5-0!!  Here's the funny thing about these numbers that keep going up up up...I don't FEEL any older, not in my head anyway.  Now, my children, as well as my body and my graying hair, will remind me from time to time that I am not as young as I used to be.  And I am totally "OK" with that.

In this age of seeking for eternal youth, exagerating the importance of the outward appearnace and "looking" younger on the outside, God has revealed a startling thing to my heart.  It's a lie AND it's not possible.  And there's something more ruminating in the recesses of my mind;

 I don't want to be a youngin' forever. 

There are so many pitfalls of youth that I'd just as soon not have to deal with or repeat.  But don't think for a minute that I don't have those moments from time to time where I see a picture of myself or my reflection in a mirror and don't contemplate the effects of the aging process, they are undeniable!  And I'm sure as I get further along, they will be even more obvious with more wrinkles, more gray hair, I'll probably lose my hearing (it's a family trait), my height will diminish and my weight will increase...just kind of goes with the territory.

I truly believe that age has little to do with who we are on the inside, except for the fact that we are growing wiser, hopefully, every year as God moves in our hearts, teaching and instructing.  I was priviledged to meet a beautiful, mature woman of 88 this weekend, the mother of a dear friend, who is just the cutest thing.  I didn't immediately think "Wow, she's old" but maybe that's because she's supposed to look older on the outside, we all are as time takes it's toll.  That's how God intended things to be, how he intended for an octogenarian to look.

I think what I'm attempting to communicate is that I've learned much over the past 50 years and I don't want to take that for granted, devalue the process of "aging".  I'm NOT the same on the inside and I'm not going to look the same on the outside.  I'm changing and growing and I'm not the same person I was when I was 25 or 30 or 35. I'm older and hopefully a little wiser.  I've had experiences that have molded me into the person I am at 50.  And as this life here on earth progresses, and the outward self looks older, I hope the inward self grows "older" as well.

Paul, in the letter he wrote to the church in Philippi tells them "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."   Of course, this is written to a group of believers but we can apply it to our lives as well.  God will finish what he started when we were born.  God is the giver of life!!  He formed me in my mother's womb, he gave me certain DNA and personality traits and is at work still as my body ages and as my mind and soul grow and learn and change. 

It's a wonderful thing, this aging process.  Instead of grumbling and complaining about it, let's embrace it!!  Let's recognize the truth in this process.  God has a plan and He is bringing it to completion, whatever that means for the outside me AND the inside me!!

What is a Friend?

In light of a conversation I had this week with a sweet young woman, I'm posting something I wrote a while back, April, to be exact.  I have no idea WHY I didn't publish it at that time, but here it is...

When I was growing up, in school and as a child, I didn't have what I would define as a "best friend".  As time passed, in college, still no "best friend".  No girls with whom I shared secrets and the deepest things in my heart.  I don't think I was the easiest person to get to know actually.  I think I may have been inapproachable at times.  On the outside, where everyone looks first, I seemed all put together.  But on the inside, where not many venture to go if you look "okay" on the outside (that means you're pretty or thin and don't seem to have many outward flaws) I was so very insecure. I had no idea who I really was and as a result I could not totally open my heart. I couldn't allow anyone to know what was really there, fear, doubt, insecurities...they would use it against me some how, I was sure.  I always desired that intimate friend, that soul mate but it never really materialized back then.  I'll never forget finally realizing at one point that my mother was the closest thing to a best friend I had.  But, as we all feel, there are just some things you don't want to share with your mother. :o)

What is it about opening our hearts, becoming vulnerable that presents us with a sense of having to protect ourselves, put up walls to keep people from finding out who we really are? What keeps us from being HONEST about our failures especially.  I know what it is, you do to...its FEAR!  Fear of REJECTION...thinking that IF someone knows what I really think and feel or what I've done or what's happened to me, they will not ACCEPT me.  They will pull away because I am such a failure, I won't measure up to what they think I am based on what they see on the outside.  Their IMAGE of me will be shattered.

Images are funny things, they're just that, an image...they are not the genuine article, they are just a reflection of PART of what something or someone really is.  There is no depth to an image, it's flat and empty and void of real meaning.

I'll never forget revealing a part of my fallenness to a friend.  Her response was not judgmental or harsh but a question "You don't really feel that way, do you"?  She was disappointed that I was revealing to her that I was a scoundrel, a sinner and capable of thinking and feeling some pretty rotten things.  But still, it was a rejection!  Her "image" of me was being destroyed by the truth of who I really was on the inside.  I purposely revealed these things because I felt she had built me up to be something I was not, at least apart of Christ.  She didn't seem understand that it wasn't ME that she was seeing but Christ at work in me.  We are dirty rotten scoundrels all, that should be understood.  Paul quotes from the Old Testament in Romans 3:

“None is righteous, no, not one;
¹¹ no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.”

So how do we endeavor to achieve these heart relationships?  What does a good friend look like?  How do we become a good friend to another person and what do we seek in return? 

GRACE is the underpinning of being a friend.  

Are you, am I, being a true friend?

  Read the definition below and do a little self-examination.  This is good stuff!!

My true friends are the ones who love me deeply despite my flaws

but also have a clear view of those flaws.

They’re the ones who don’t shrink back from telling the truth

but who stir love, kindness and gentleness into those hard words.

They’re the ones who will give me grace and the benefit of the doubt on my bad days

but shut the lights and close the doors on extended pity parties.

They’re the ones committed to do life with me even when it’s messy,

but they bring Fantastic along for the ride.

They’re the ones who will celebrate my successes

and mourn my defeats right by my side.

And I do the same for them.





Its Finally Friday

Birthdays have always been a big deal at our house.  Breakfast in bed, enjoying a favorite dessert and time spent celebrating with family and friends! 

This week's Fill In the Blank Friday with Lauren is all about birthdays!

love cupcakes

1. The age I will be on my upcoming birthday is the big 5-0.  Can't believe I actually admitted that.

2.  The best birthday present ever would be someone to come into my house and declutter and organize every square inch, including my closet and clothing, replacing outdated things with fasionable replacements.  Not to excess, mind you, simple yet adequate!!

3.  My favorite birthday to date was this past year since I remember it the best.  I had dinner with my family received flowers at work and went to lunch with a special friend!

4.  Brithdays make me feel excited, special and loved!

5.  The worst birthday I ever had was my 40th. 

6.  When I was born things were very different from our "norm" today.  It's strange to me that I now remind myself of my Dad who used to frequently begin his sentenes with "Well, when I was a boy we didnt' have...".  So in the tradition of our family...when I was a little girl we didn't have air conditioning, we had to get up from the couch to change the television channel (we only got 3 channels so it didn't make that much difference) our phone was attached to the wall, we only talked to our friends voice to voice and only for 1/2 hour because someone else might try to call, we ate dinner at home every evening as a family, we played outside ALOT, we didn't take pictures of ourselves in front of the mirror in the bathroom, our ice came from an ice tray that we filled up and emptied by hand.  Technology is wonderful, but sometimes I miss "the good old days".

7.  So far my favorite age has been 38.  I remember that time in my life being very busy, but I had plenty of energy and seemed to be somewhat organized, at least that's how I remember it!  But you know, when you're pushin' fifty all that energy and pep seem to dissipate.  Thank goodness for caffeine.





What is the Gospel?

 

All the behavior modification in the world will NEVER change our hearts

~Derek Webb

This is a statement that I heard recently while listening this CD my son-in-law left at my house "accidentally".  I've listened to it over and over again since it was graciously and providentially brought into my realm of being.  It totally unpacked for me a more complete understanding of the Gospel.  For more than 20 years I thought I knew what the Gospel was.  You know, Christ died for our sins, was buried, rose again the third day, etc.  But I am coming to see that it is much more than that.  It doesn't just stop working, moving and being in our life AFTER conversion.  We don't need something else, something more, some "holy living" preaching, we just need the Gospel.  We are called to preach the gospel to ourselves every day, and to preach the gospel to one another!

In the culture we find ourselves most often, even in church culture, we are defined by WHAT WE DO.  That's really a shame because we are not what we do, we are who God tells us we are.  So often we look at other people and judge them by what they do, it could even be "he's the pastor".  Well, he does teach us the bible and his title technically is "Pastor" but that's not really who he is.

We also give respect to certain people, hold them in higher regard because of WHAT THEY DO.  Are you getting my point here?  It's not about what we do!!  We're sinners, we're going to sin and when we do, no one should be surprised by it.  That may sound a little strange but it's something that is true, about me and about you. 

When our friend handles a situation badly, or exhibits selfishness, or is lazy or crass or unforgiving or just downright short temptered and angry, we should not be surprised.  We should give grace, knowing that we are of the same family...a family of sinners.

Here's a question for you to mull over.  Should we praise people for their "good" behavior?  That's hard.  When we see someone doing well, demonstrating grace and loving kindness to others we want to pat them on the back, give 'em a thumbs up and a "good job".  But what do those words say about what we believe?  What is important to us and demonstrates the Spirit at work?  It's not about us, it's about His work in us.  It's a demonstration of God's grace at work in us. 

Why do we forget ALL OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS IS FILTHY RAGS?

And why do we not see that WE LOVE THE PRAISE OF PEOPLE!  Think about it a minute.  When your friend notices something and compliments you on your "whatever" what does that do for you?  How does it make you feel?  Or, a little closer to home, when you post a picture of your family or your child's latest accomplishment on Facebook, how do you feel about all the positive comments you read later that evening?  Come on, be HONEST!!  We all appreciate (love) when folks admire and praise our children or their accomplishments or our accomplishments.  Just take a look at your news feed sometime, and ask yourself some tough questions.  Are we seeking the praise of people?  And conversely when someone doesn't notice OR points out a flaw or a weakness, do we feel "bad"?  Are we basing our worth as individuals on what people, family, church friends, think about us?

Here's the truth:  our actions betray that we are sinners. 

 Why can't we just accept that in ourselves and in others and quit hiding our sin? 

 Why can't we just be gracious to others when they sin and love them even while they are sinning? 

That's what Jesus did for us and demonstrated time and time again in the New Testament! 

 Jesus LOVED SINNERS!!  Why don't we?? 

Why do we think that our friends and family who profess Christ aren't going to sin,
against us and against others? 


The gospel frees us to be "real" in our community of believers.

The gospel is what transforms hearts!

TGIF

Fill In the Blank Friday---My first EVER.  Here we go...

 

 1.  I am a terrible procrastinator.  Not something I'm terribly proud of and I've been making attempts to reform but still kind of struggling.  

2.  I have always wanted to be wife and mommy, from a child on into teen years I never wanted another type of career.  I loved having kids at home and all that went along with it. Every stage with my girls was a grand adventure and I miss not having a ball practice or music lesson to attend or someone needing a costume or special party dress that meant shopping or crafting for a week to come up with the perfect thing.

3.  I hope to some day travel to Europe. 

4. I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue.  This is obviously not the ONLY thing I can do just a random little tidbit not everyone who knows me knows about me! :o)

5.  I dream of owning and operating a Bed and Breakfast or small Inn.  I am a decent cook and a very good baker and love to have people over and cook for them. What better way to quench my "mothering" need than taking care of guests.

6.  The way to my heart is a surprise - whether it be a friend dropping by for an unplanned visit, someone showing up at my office with an unexpected sweet treat or a spur of the moment lunch date, all these make me feel special and thought about!  These types of unplanned interruptions to the norm make me smile and add a little spark to my day.

7.  I am passionate about my family.  They are the ones I would rather spend time with, the ones I hope understand and love me for me when no one else does and the ones who will some day take care of me when I've been declared totally incapable of looking after myself. (I just know one day I'll need them to repay me for all the care-giving I did for them back in the day)

So, there you have it.  If you only know me through reading this blog (whoever you might be) this gives you a little glimpse into another side of the woman behind the keyboard.  Hopefully, this will not be my last Fill in the Blank Friday.  Thanks again to Lauren at The Little Things We Do for hosting such a fun "get to know more about you" link-up.

Perspective ~ Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Well, my baby girl was right, her big sister beat me to it!!  My "life lover" so enjoys sharing her life she frequently shares some of mine too.  Which is a great way to expand our following of readers so I'm totally on board with the ever so frequent story sharing.  That was exactly the case with her most recent blog post regarding our exciting weekend of falling trees, power outages and unexpected welcomed house guests. 

During all of these unexpected yet sovereignly ordained occurrences I was reminded over and over again how very blessed I am to have a Father who appoints storms and struggles and then gives grace as we walk through them with Him.  Blessings and grace surrounded me and my family during every minute of these outrageous happenings.  

I was NOT at home when this tornado (or whatever they're trying to call it now) occurred.
I was enjoying a wonderful dinner at a local restaurant and didn't have to experience the noise and drama first-hand or alone.  Very kind of my Father, he knows me so well.

I received information from my neighbor that a mere six inches to the left and my brand new car would have suffered severe damage from our basketball goal falling right on her.  She is still wearing her lovely temporary tag, still just a baby.  She is such a grace treasure provided just for me and I was actually more worried about her than the tree falling on the house!!  (I know, I'm a little cray-cray)

I HAVE ELECTRICITY!!  Not kidding, of the estimated 500,000 individuals in our
surrounding area who are dealing with power outages I. Have. Electricity!!. 

My daughters and son-in-law can duly attest that even WITH air conditioning,

I am frequently stating the fact (that's what I call complaining) that I am hot.
and considering the over 100 degree temperatures we've been having~

OH MY, again, what a kindness, He knew it would be too much for me!

I've been able to "mother" my children and some of my adopted sons this entire weekend, 

because none of them have electricity and I do!!  What a wonderful time I've

had just being in the house with them, having people there to interrupt my

rather lonely quiet empty-nest environment.

My scheduled trip to deliver a very important and much needed bed to my youngest
 did not have to be postponed because of the weather.  It actually went rather swimmingly!!
  I experienced absolutely no trouble obtaining gasoline.  This may not seem overly significant,
but apparently there was a run on the gasoline stations!  I've never seen anything
like it, EVER...the lines were 20-30 cars long and almost every station in our area
ran out of gas and closed at some point during the weekend.
When I got to the town where she has rented an apartment for the summer,
 it didn't even seem they had had a storm at all, business as usual.

AND
 

I enjoyed a lovely lunch with she and her roommate at

a restaurant they talk about all the time that I had never been to before

(one thing I love, visiting new restaurants - i like to eat, what can I say).

I'm sure for many of the folks in my little town the memories from the past several days are not filled with positive uplifting and praise worthy happenings, but then again, maybe they are.

"Two women stood behind iron bars
One saw mud, the other saw stars"

Maybe it's all about perspective!

Introducing My Friends (notice it's plural)

wow, it's been a VERY LONG TIME since I posted anything here.  two months.  that's downright unacceptable. as i contemplate the reason(s) for this lack of diligence on my part, a miriad of things have crowded in and crowded out my blogging.  maybe just good 'ole procrastination, or lack of time or lack of meaningful things to say...not this girl, not really, not ever.  i'm a talker from way back and can ALWAYS find something interesting and meaningful (if only in my mind) to flap my jaws about.  maybe it's the incessant  barking of a certain dog, who shall remain nameless, that has interrupted my concentration, like just now!!

where was i, oh, WHY i haven't been keeping this up.  well since april 12th, we've experienced two birthdays, a college graduation, the death of a significant family member, two different trips to florida, a move for the firstborn daughter and this weekend a move for the the baby daughter.  whew, i'm tired just thinking about it.

as i re-read the post from april about friendship, my thoughts went to the events of today.  i had lunch with one long-time friend, an unexpected visit from another long-time friend and then dinner with a rather new friend whom i hope will end up becoming a fast friend.  

the two "long time" friends share the not only the same name but also married men with the same name (how weird).  These two Debbies (blonde haired D and dark haired D) are my sister/friends and our lives have been intertwined in varying degrees for the last 25 years.  we've watched our children grow up, go off and get married and have babies (well Deb S is still waiting, but soon), enjoyed beach trips (just moms and kids), moved houses, built houses, lost husbands, married again, talked and laughed

and shared and cried and just done life together.

 although there have been periods of time when we have only

been in contact with one another sporatically, we still remain friends.

there is a loyalty and understanding even when communication is not constant or consistent that we are "there".  we don't have to talk or e-mail every.single.day and no one feels slighted if we don't.  when we get "back together" as one D put it, we take up right where we left off and

 it's better than ever.

my love for these ladies has lasted and grown over the past years.  i am very thankful and blessed to have these women in my life.  they've been to me what i desired as a young women and thought 

i didn't have.  in all actuality, i was unknowingly

cultivating two friendships that would last not only through

the ups and downs of my life here on this earth, but throughout eternity.

i not only have one best friend, i have two women

with the same first name who have shared

a treasured spot in my heart for over one-half of my adult life!

they are gifts of God's grace to me!

women of integrity, courage and a desire to live

life in a way that demonstrates the power of 

God's grace in their lives on a daily basis. 

here's to another 25 years!  at that time we can join the

red hat society and get together for tea parties or 

whatever those ladies do when they don those red hats.

p.s. i want a red hat with a feather ; )