Are shitty days real or simply a matter of perspective?
That's my question today.
I'm not sure I have an answer right now.
Now, in this moment, I'm angry, which by my own definition is a secondary emotion for pain or hurt.
Maybe today was just a hard day. One of those days when it seems I am the target for the word arrows. Maybe the arrows I felt aren't the words but the unspoken attitudes of frustration and disapproval that seem to accompany the words. Maybe the inability to navigate this day's interactions with all the people is a result of my own skewed perceptions?
No matter the cause of what I'm experiencing in THIS moment, I am angry.
Right now, I'm going to sit in this emotion and allow it; without judgment, without trying to fix a single thing.
This is a new practice for me. It's going to take some time to get used to allowing emotions that have been taboo to surface and linger without pushing them down or attempting to refocus my attention to something else that perhaps might possibly get me out of "my bad mood".
I hope as I practice making space for myself to just BE and feel whatever it is I'm feeling in the moment, I will be able to do the same for others. I am acutely aware that I have not always allowed myself or others freedom and space to just sit in their pain without trying to "make it better".
So, for this day, I will not make a single attempt to change the way I feel. I will feel and that is all.
