It's November as I write these words on a cold, sunny Sunday. I'm up early with coffee and lengthy phrases swirling in my head. I come to my usual spot to think and meditate and happen to glance to the left instead of the right as I get myself situated on my yoga mat. I grab my mug of chocolatey caffeine goodness and the view outside my second story window reveals the most wonderful golden orange colors on the tree to the left. Just last week I took a picture of a tree from the same window but from a slightly different perspective. That photo showed a tree barren of it's color, all of the beautiful red leaves were gone. All had dropped in a wind storm and the tree was now completely bare, brown and, in my opinion, sad. I longed for more colorful Fall beauty.
It was no accident that I should see the lovely golden orange colors of another tree simply because I was seated at a different angle. When I saw the beauty of those leaves, my mind immediately went to the bare tree just a few feet away and how I had longed for more and felt the ever present pang of never enough.
God has been so gracious to remind me over and over that I live in a new way, an abundant life. I live in the kingdom being formed by the One who is enough, who promises his children will be blessed and is leading them into the Promised Land.
I am thankful today as I sit and ponder how He shows up over and over, reminding us that He sees and cares. The provision might seem ordinary and of little insignificace to some but these reminders of his New Covenant of Love and constant presence cause my soul to sing. The "withness" that I long for is always available. I simply need to slow and notice God speaking love to me in the unique and tender way that resonates deeply in my heart. Today, that experience is noticing a tree and hearing whispers of hope and love. "See, there are more leaves, there is more than enough, there is plenty!"
I could continue to look longingly at the former tree that had lost all its leaves or I could enjoy another view, a different perspective. The different view was a picture of hope to my somewhat always anticipating the loss self. There are roots to this negative perspective that I seem to fight on a regular basis, but I'm doing the work. I'm pulling out the weed roots and have planted lots of positive seeds in my heart garden.
As I slow and listen and just be with myself and God, he reminds me of these things. His whisper of abundance and always enough rings out as I sit and ponder where I've been and all the small and big ways He has led me out of the desert. There have been many Red Sea Roads on my journey from scarcity to abundance. This freedom song my heart sings has been a hard fought battle with old ways, negative thought patterns and a body that continues to be challenged to move through life remembering that I am a new creation and the old is passing away. No longer a slave to the law, no longer dependent on the blood of goats and lambs, no longer wandering in a wilderness but living in the lush green pastures of the Promised Land. A land flowing with milk and honey and every sweet thing my heart longs for. I simply need to slow down long enough to taste and see. Knowing about God is not the same as experiencing God's unique love in my small every day moments. Doctrine and dogma never caused me to feel or live as if I were loved. Noticing the leaves on the tree this morning does.
