I want to “be happy”. I AM happy most of the time.
Our humanity embraces both, joy and sorrow.
Things shift, I lose my balance.
A wave of emotion, arises like a wave of the ocean.
Fear, a familiar friend, a deep soul sister who has graced what seems like the entirety of my life.
Sand and water dripping through my fingers, like those drippy castles I made with my girls back in the early years.
Experiences providing opportunities for looking, asking, befriending what's present in the moment.
Grounded, connected to Love, these times flow with ease and grace.
Can I be with, bear witness to the pain?
Disconnected from the truth of who I am, I spiral into a giant ocean of possibilities.
Fear threatens: “You could drown!”
Love soothes: “You’ve been here before. Soften around the tension. Remember to breathe. Release your grip. Make space. You are Safe.”
Reminds me of child birth.
The expanding, stretching belly, making room for new life to grow.
Then laboring, squeezing, tightening and then reprieve, for the moment.
Uncontrollable, it rises from the deepest recesses, preparing to deliver.
Another wave, and another, each more intense than the last.
Until the gift.
Our greatest gifts, our greatest pain.
All new life begins this way.
